Living with the imperfection

As I was walking up the steps from the train this morning to work, I saw a text from Maria on my phone.

You left your laptop. Do you need it dropped off?

Um, yes, please.

So that's life lately - I was up a lot of the night with a super-cranky, teething Jossie and now running to work for two important meetings that I did not feel prepared for this morning.

Awesome.

When I was 7 or 8 years old, I declined an invitation to a friend's house because I had to go home and clean my room. Because I wanted to. I definitely have practiced that through life - I need to have things in order before I can do the "real" work - I almost think that's one of the reasons I really like to entertain - it gives me time to plan a menu, execute the menu, clean my house, have the music playing, the candles burning and things just so.

As a working, volunteering, blogging mother of two small children, my perspective has been forcibly changed.

My work desk is a mess. My home desk is a mess. My to-do list is written in 10 different spots. My email inbox is out of control; I've gotten to the point of quickly scanning it to make sure I hit the fires before anything else. (And, yes, I realize I work for a nonprofit; it's not like I'm curing cancer or anything.) My DVR at home is full of good shows I can't get to (Glee, I miss you). I can't go too far into my work before someone pops their head into my office.

For days at home this week, we have had no paper towels. I hated that. Jeremy was so tired of hearing me complain, he went out the other night to specifically buy some. As I stood in my kitchen this morning, I see the sticky floors, I see the kids' out-grown clothes I want to organize and I see the piles of stuff on my desk I want to go through.

I need to go to Target and I have no idea when I will get there.

But yet: I have had a good - albeit disorderly - week so far and that counts for something, right? I had a really fun tea with my dear girlfriend this past Saturday, had dinner with the besties Saturday night at Browntrout, a lunch out with a friend/co-worker at Bin 36 yesterday, and lots of good conversations with co-workers about what's to come this year at work, including a happy hour on Monday night. I met with new web guys earlier this week, who are super-geeked out on things we could do to our organization's website. I also met with two lovely people Wednesday morning to talk about volunteering with a board. I would love to join the board and am mulling it over but it's a huge commitment. It would bring together my personal passions of good food and nature.Though, it's probably best to stay as a big fan of their work for now.

And Wednesday's dinner was simple, penne pasta with meat sauce. Jossie's round face was stained orange from her pasta sauce, and Jack was doing his constant little dance as we ate dinner at the stools at our kitchen island. I had pulled up the Frank Sinatra station on Pandora and Jeremy opened wine. Sticky floors be darned; this sure was a nice moment to savor.

So the week's almost done - the work to-do list is still long and I'm contemplating that trip to Target tonight. But tomorrow is pj day at Jack's school and Jossie has her big 1-year-old doctor's appointment. And this weekend is another weekend of celebrating babies, birthdays and long-time friendships.

I might even leave my bed unmade.